


till i trade my mistakes

by seochangbin



Series: an anchor, sinking her [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Boys Kissing, Church AU, Coming In Pants, Frottage, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Making Out, Porn With Plot, Wet Dream, angst kinda, basically chan makes him realise he's not straight, changbin's a Good Religious Boy, corruption kink kinda...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 22:00:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16795573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seochangbin/pseuds/seochangbin
Summary: “Changbin,” He responds, scratching at a spot on his side. The sweater vest his mom put him in is itchy and he really just wants to be at home playing video games, but she had insisted on him attending Sunday school while she attended mass, and what kind of son would he be to say no to her?





	till i trade my mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> wow okay hi so this is New! a simple discussion of this au with a friend got out of hand so i'm going to make this the first part of a new series oof,, anyways i made the religious references (if any?? idk) clear enough to make it look like i know what i'm doing but not enough to offend anyone (i hope!).. enjoy?
> 
> also yes im naming everything after panic! at the disco songs what about it
> 
> EDIT: please do note that woojin is NOT meant to be older than chan, they are the same age as they are irl (and so is changbin!)!! just to make sure everyone is alright bc i received some feedback regarding this issue... stay safe everyone and please do tell me if anything makes you uncomfy!

“Welcome to Sunday school, kid,” The soft-looking, older man says as he leads him down the hall. In a simple blue button-down, he wears a warm smile on his face. “I’m Woojin.”

“Changbin,” He responds, scratching at a spot on his side. The sweater vest his mom put him in is itchy and he really just wants to be at home playing video games, but she had insisted on him attending Sunday school while she attended mass, and what kind of son would he be to say no to her?

“Nice to meet you, Changbin. We don’t do much around here for Sunday school, I usually teach lessons to the rest or we all share our stories and testimonies. There’s only a few of us, but I think you’ll like it here,” Woojin introduces, unprompted, and Changbin only knows to nod politely and continue walking alongside the older man.

Their town is small, Changbin’s family deciding to move here to get away from the hustle of the city, so his mom can pursue _“a deeper connection with God”,_ as she had phrased it. He hadn’t seen a single person his age around here when they’d moved into their new house, so attending the church just down the street is probably a good way to start making new friends, he supposes. Woojin had been kind enough to wait for him by the entrance of the church when he had heard of the new people joining the church and wouldn’t have wanted Changbin to get lost on his first day. (At least, that’s what Woojin told him.)

Down the long hallways, after seemingly walking for an eternity, Woojin finally turns to a door and ushers Changbin into the small room. He’s greeted by bright white walls, and about six teens sitting on the carpeted floor in a circle. None of the other kids really catch his eye, except for the guy with striking silver-grey hair, in a leather jacket despite how stuffy the room already feels with the heating on. There’s an empty space next to him and he pats at it, and Changbin thinks he’s calling for him to sit until the boy calls Woojin’s name cutely, beckoning him to sit with him. Changbin’s embarrassed, he’s glad he didn’t move forward on his own accord, but Woojin pulls him over to sit next to him, putting him between Woojin and the silver-haired boy.

He wants to move over, so the other boy can sit next to Woojin, but he thinks it’d be too awkward to do so while Woojin’s introducing him to the rest. “Alright everyone, this is Changbin. He’ll be joining us starting today. Changbin, do you want to tell the rest a little something about yourself?” Woojin has a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He gulps.

“Uh, hi. I’m Changbin, I’m nineteen and I just moved here. I hope we can all get along well,” Changbin says, scratching the back of his neck as he scans the faces in the circle. They’re mostly young teens, the only older ones being himself, Woojin and the silver-haired boy. Everyone mumbles back a greeting except for Woojin, who responds loud and clear, before he draws the attention back to himself by starting the lesson and asking everyone to flip to a chapter in their bibles, going round the circle to read the verses.

Lost and unprepared, Changbin lets his eyes roam the circle frantically, unsure of what to do until he feels a nudge to his arm. “You wanna share?” It’s the silver-haired boy, gesturing to his bible by lifting it in his hand. Changbin nods, and the other boy motions for him to move closer as he flips to where Woojin had told them to.

“Thanks,” Changbin whispers when he’s close enough to the boy, who puts his bible in front of both of them on the floor.

He looks up at Changbin. “No problem. I’m Chan, by the way.”

“I’m-- You already know my name,” Changbin dismisses with a wave of his hand.

Chan only chuckles under his breath, “I already like you, Changbin. You’re funny.”

As if they hadn’t started talking at all, Chan carries on from the previous person, and points Changbin’s verse out for him when it’s his turn before it returns to Woojin. Changbin grins at him, glad that he’s made a friend in such a short amount of time, one who seems to be in sync with him.

Woojin drones on with the lesson, elaborating the story in the passage. Chan yawns silently, the motion big and easily spotted in Changbin’s peripheral, the latter freezes when Chan, who’s sitting a little behind him, hooks his chin over his shoulder. Two boys can’t -- _shouldn’t_ \-- sit this close, be this touchy with each other, it’s… not right. Changbin swallows the lump in his throat, feeling guilty as he subtly tries to shake Chan off his shoulder with a couple of shrugs. He hopes the other boy finally moves because the position was uncomfortable, and not because he got the hint.

Changbin looks to the other boy, who just so happens to be looking at him too. Chan cocks an eyebrow. Changbin just shakes his head, opting to focus of Woojin instead. It’s less embarrassing this way.

It’s not long before Chan leans over again, whispering in his ear, “Hey, what do you think of Woojin?”

Changbin’s puzzled by the question, because Chan sounds like he’s a thirteen-year-old girl discussing which boy in class is the cutest. But he’s a boy.

He leans his head back slightly, eyes still on Woojin so he can pretend he’s still paying attention. He whispers back, “He’s alright I guess, he seems nice--”

“I mean, do you think he’s hot?”

Changbin panics, voice rising as he whips his head back to look at Chan with confusion. “What are you--”

“Chan, stop bothering Changbin, please.” Woojin’s clear voice cuts in between the two of them, both turning to look at him. The rest of the group is staring at them, and Changbin feels his cheeks flush red. Chan clears his throat.

“Sorry, Woojin,” Chan sheepishly grins, and the tension in the room dissipates as the rest look back to Woojin who continues speaking.

Changbin glances once more at Chan, eyebrows furrowed, before he turns back to Woojin like the rest of them.

–

The next week, Changbin retraces the steps to the same room and peeks through the small window in the door. He spots Chan in the room, in a muscle tee this time. His bare arms toned and muscular, the worn, black shirt tucked into black jeans. The pale skin of his torso is visible through the armholes, made especially obvious with Woojin’s hands slipping in through them to feel up Chan’s body.

Chan sits perched on Woojin’s lap, facing the larger man, leaning into his touch as the two lock lips. Neither are in a position to spot him looking from outside, and his cheeks heat up, watching the two men kissing in a corner in the small room. A hand over his mouth, his eyes are wide in horror as he backs away from the door and ends up against the wall, sinking to the floor as he processes everything. He just saw Woojin and Chan. Making out in the corner, both enjoying their time with their tongues in each other’s mouths. He feels something poking at the inside of his thigh. He looks down, only to see himself hard through his slacks. Oh no.

He sits against the wall, knees bent and thighs squished together so no one, in the case that anyone else walks by, sees his erection, but it just makes his dick even more prominent through the thin material. He’s thankful he dressed more casual today, stripping himself of his hoodie so he can drape it over his crotch. WIth shaky hands, still uncomprehending, he pulls out his phone and idles with it, pretending to be busy. He startles when a loud thump followed by a yelp of a profanity he _isn’t allowed to say_ , even more desperate to act normal, with the presumption that someone’s leaving the room.

The door clicks and swings open, and a frightened Changbin is greeted by Woojin, his hair sticking out in one spot while his collar is slightly skewed. “Hey, Changbin! What are you doing out here?” Woojin asks chirpily, with no indication whatsoever of what he had been up to in the room prior.

“I- I didn’t know if anyone was in the room, so I was going to wait for people to arrive before I went in since I got here early.” He lies out of nervousness. The room was lit. _Someone_ would’ve been in there.

If Woojin does catch his blatant lie, he doesn’t show it. He nods understandingly, glancing back at the closed door now. “Well, Chan’s in there, you two can chat before the rest arrive. I have things to attend to. Will you be okay?” He asks, offering a hand to help Changbin up.

Changbin takes his hand, careful not to let his obvious erection be made known to the older man. “Yeah, yeah. Totally.”

“That’s good. Well, gotta go, duty calls!” Woojin shrugs after patting Changbin on the shoulder, the younger nodding before Woojin takes his leave.

He makes sure Woojin’s disappeared down the hall before sighing, preparing himself to step into the room where Woojin and Chan had been making out in. He shudders, before knocking on the door firmly, afraid to look in through the window in case Chan was up to anything else… odd. He waits for a muffled “Come in!” before he opens the door.

Chan sits in the same corner Changbin had seen him in earlier, now in Woojin’s spot and sitting back against the wall. He smiles widely and waves at the younger man, phone in his hand, greeting him and beckoning him in.

Changbin doesn’t think he should sit so close to Chan, especially since he’s aware of what they’d done in that spot, but he sits next to the silver-haired man so he doesn’t seem rude, now wanting to make it awkward with only them in the room. He makes sure his sweater still covers his crotch, because he wouldn’t dare to step foot in the church again if anyone, especially Chan, were to see him like this: vulnerable and hard.

“Woojin was in here earlier, he went off to do church things. Being the priest’s son and all, you know?” Chan asks, settling his phone down next to him.

Changbin nods silently, not looking at Chan. He twiddles his thumbs which rest in his lap, just to make sure there’s _no way_ Chan will see his hard-on. God, this is embarrassing.

“I’m sorry about last week,” Chan speaks up now, prompting Changbin to look up at him. “I was too forward, and it was a weird question to ask--”

“No, no! It’s okay.” Changbin doesn’t know why he’s so defensive, excusing Chan’s behaviour from last week when it’s clearly against the word of God. “I thought about it, and I shouldn’t have acted in that manner. I- I’ll respect you for you, and whatever you’re into, Chan.”

Chan visibly relaxes. “Thanks, Changbin. That means a lot,” He looks away from Changbin, smiling softly at a spot in the carpet.

This is right. Accepting people for who they are, treating them like people, and forgiving them for their sins. Yeah, this is what God would do. Changbin’s glad.

“So…” Chan starts, “You’re saying you’re not into it?”

Changbin can tell that Chan’s a little nervous to approach the topic again from the tone of his voice, apprehensive and worried. “Into Woojin?” He asks, confused about what the older boy means.

“No- I mean, yeah, kinda- I mean, you’re not into boys?”

A week ago, Changbin would’ve shaken his head furiously in denial, might’ve made a joke at the expense of gay people to prove his straight-ness. Instead, he doesn’t respond immediately, glancing down at his crotch, remembering how he had gotten (and is still) hard from watching Woojin and Chan kiss and grope each other. Changbin slowly shakes his head, looking back up at Chan. “No, I don’t think I am.”

“What does that mean?” Chan asks innocently. He’s switched positions, now lying chest down on the floor, legs propped up against the wall while his hands hold up his head, now by his knee.

_I just watched you and Woojin making out in this exact spot and got hard, for starters,_ Changbin thinks. He could tell him that, but he’d probably get yelled at for looking in on a clearly private moment. “I saw something recently… that has had me a little confused, I guess,” Changbin says carefully.

All of a sudden, the weight of his sweater is lifted off his lap, a heavier weight now on his thigh. Chan has rolled over, head now in Changbin’s lap as he speaks comfortably to the younger man. He bundles Changbin’s hoodie in his arms, holding it like a stuffed toy.

“That sucks. I hope you figure it out soon,” Chan puffs his cheeks out. “I myself took a long time discovering what I was… You don’t mind me telling this story, right?”

Changbin shakes his head, trying to maintain his composure as Chan begins his story. He tries not to panic, but it’s hard when Chan’s head is _this_ close to his erection, hard again from the sudden rush of cool air hitting it when Chan had removed his hoodie. His mind is frantic, Chan’s gay monologue mere background noise to accompany the thoughts swimming in his head. _What if Chan sees that I’m hard right now? Will he think_ he’s _why I’m hard? I mean, he’s not wrong, but what if he thinks if I’m into him? What if he wants to get in my pants, or he thinks I’m trying to get into his? And what about Woojin, aren’t they--_

Chan startles up and off of Changbin’s lap upon hearing the click of the door opening. Changbin instinctively places his phone on his crotch as a last resort. The cool glass and metal of his phone against his dick is extremely uncomfortable, even through his slacks and the fabric of his boxers, but he has no other choice. The other teens file into the room now, Woojin following behind them, his shirt back in place but hair just as messy and sweat rolling down his neck.

As they scooch in to form the usual circle of people in the room, Changbin gets his hoodie back from Chan, relieved that his only form of protection is returned to him. He drapes his hoodie over his lap again, eased because he can _finally_ let his dick soften, even if he’s intimidated by Chan and Woojin sitting on either side of him.

–

He’s back in the church, standing outside the room, peering in and watching Woojin and Chan kiss in the corner, but this time Woojin’s eyes flutter open, spotting Changbin very clearly through the small window. The couple stop kissing, Chan turning to the door to make piercing eye contact with him as well, and all of a sudden he’s turning the door handle to join them in the room.

“Changbin,” Chan calls out sweetly, as Changbin pads over to the couple. His voice is warped, but it sounds so familiar, so much like Chan, even though it’s completely off. He kneels next to them in the corner, hands folded on his lap.

Even while perched on Woojin’s lap, Chan lures him closer to him, holding him by the collar of his shirt as he presses their foreheads together. “Changbin, I want to kiss you.”

He nods before he can even process the words, his conscience telling him he shouldn't be kissing boys kicking in a second too late, because his body is already leaning in with Chan’s so their lips touch just so. Chan’s soft lips begin to move against his, and he doesn’t know how to kiss him back -- he’s never dated _anyone, ever_ \-- so he does his best to follow what Chan’s doing to him, and hoping Chan feels as good as he’s making him feel.

The first time they part for air, Chan’s lips redder and slick with saliva, Changbin notices Woojin below the silver-haired boy, his cock hard as he palms himself through his pants. Before he can take more of the elder man in, Chan moves his head back to him with slender, dainty fingers, sliding down the side of his face to hold his chin, pulling him in to kiss him again with more force. He’s too immersed in kissing Chan to notice Woojin disappearing from under the former. Now, it’s just him and Chan. Finally, he has Chan all to himself.

“Channie,” The younger man pants when they part, his hands finally brave enough to make their way onto Chan’s hips. Chan smirks, teasing Changbin through his slacks with a finger. Changbin’s getting hard, even more so with Chan’s touch, feather-light and just _not enough._ “Channie, please.” He pleads breathily, hips helplessly canting upwards for some reason.

Chan kisses him one more time, and he’s really starting to warm up to them, melting into Chan’s plush lips against his, and he’s finally getting what he needs as Chan teases at the waistband of his slacks, sliding against his body and further down…

Until he wakes up in bed, his erection poking into his thigh again. The room is too bright, too uncomfortable and too hot, and he glares at his hard dick. _Curse you, hormones. Curse you, Chan._

Changbin can only get up to lock the door to his room, groggily laying back down in bed and kicking off his boxers. His cock curves prettily against his stomach, hard and leaking already. He’s too lazy to get the lube or even spit in his hand, so he just fists his cock roughly, the dry burn somewhat pleasurable. His mind wants to drift to that porno he watched recently, the one with the pretty blonde girl getting fucked on both ends, but the way her body dips and curves just doesn’t seem do it as much for him. Sure, he’d fuck her, but he wonders, whether he wants to be in her place, if he’d want to be given that kind of treatment. Imagine, Chan fucking him from behind, praising him for taking him to well, while Woojin roughly fucks his face just so he can get off.

Chan, fucking him.

Chan, with his dick up his ass. Chan.

Chan.

“Shit,” Changbin grits his teeth as he cusses, hand working furiously on his cock and it’s not long before he comes, the white fluid covering his hand and stomach. Chest heaving as he catches his breath, the weight of his thoughts from earlier finally crushing him as he lays in his bed. He just got off to the thought of Chan and Woojin. “Shit.”

–

He misses a couple of weeks of church, having to deal with enrolling into school and dealing with the workload of joining in the middle of the semester. So _maybe_ he’s been hiding away so he can avoid people at church, namely the boy who’s sent him into an endless spiral of self-doubt and confusion regarding his sexuality, but he isn’t exactly the most excited to see said boy again.

His mom immerses herself in helping out at the church, which means he’ll have to be there as early as she is if he doesn’t want to walk there himself. He just hopes he won’t stumble upon something like what he did the last time.

Relieved to see a perfectly normal Chan sitting in the same corner in the room through the window, eyes intent on his phone with no Woojin in sight, Changbin knocks on the door out of courtesy before entering. Chan lights up upon seeing the younger man, as he sits down next to him on the floor.

“Changbin! It’s great to see you again,” Chan grins, pulling him in for a hug. It’s awkward with how they’re seated, and Chan’s moved too fast for Changbin to process and respond appropriately, so he sits there, arms still by his sides as Chan hugs him. He can only lift his forearms to pat at Chan’s back amicably with how tightly the elder’s hugging him. “I missed seeing you.”

Changbin’s startled at the simple, quiet confession by his ear in the even quieter room, his hands beginning to rub at Chan’s lower back in a soothing motion. “Yeah- I missed you too, Chan. Woojin too.”

Chan lets go of him now. He scratches at the back of his neck out of habit, “Missed hanging out with you guys, school has been a bitch.”

The elder cocks an eyebrow in amusement, a smirk playing at his lips. “Didn’t know you were the cussing kind.”

“Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.” Changbin shrugs nonchalantly, only for Chan to chuckle at him. “Anyways, where’s Woojin? I thought he’d be here.”

Chan hums, “If he isn’t here, Woojin’s always off doing stuff for his dad around the church. He’s just off being a good kid, I guess.”

“Then why do you get here so early?” There’s no harshness in Changbin’s voice, only curiosity.

“On days that Woojin isn’t on duty, I just hang out here with him until everyone else comes. I kinda don’t have many other friends,” Chan explains. “Otherwise, I have this,” He takes his phone and shakes it in his hand for emphasis, “Good for porn on-the-go so I can kill some time.” He winks and grins.

“That’s gross, dude!” Changbin punches the elder’s arm lightly, both laughing at the crude joke. “Besides, I thought we were friends already anyways and now I have to come down early too, because my mom’s helping out in the church. We should just hang out.”

“Aren’t we already?” Chan teases with a lilt in his voice, only for Changbin to raise his hands in defeat, a lazy grin matching Chan’s on his face. Chan comfortably rests his hand on Changbin’s thigh as he relaxes, the warmth felt on his skin even through his jeans. The younger gulps, feeling blood rushing down south just from the contact. _Shit._ Chan glances up at him, trying to read his face, mottled with confusion and worry. “What’s up, Changbin?”

_Shit._ “Nothing’s up, why do you ask?” Changbin keeps his tone level, despite how fast his heart’s pounding in his chest.

“You look like you have something to say.” _Shit._

Alarmed, Changbin shakes his head, lifting a hand to deny it but it’s too late, because Chan’s clambering onto his lap all of a sudden. His forwardness makes Changbin’s eyes grow wide, Chan straddling him while his back is against the wall, _like how he was straddling Woojin the last time--_

“I’m not getting off you till you tell me what’s on your mind,” Chan huffs, crossing his arms sternly as he pouts and looks Changbin dead in the eye.

“I saw you and Woojin kissing in here the other day,” Changbin blurts, Chan’s eyes strangely compelling him to speak without filtering it first. “I can only think of you two doing it in this spot, right here. Just, making out.”

Chan flashes through a couple of different emotions on his face: surprise, amusement, contentment. He quirks his eyebrows, asking as he shimmies even closer to the younger man to egg him on, “Did… Did you like it?”

Changbin’s brain-to-mouth filter has stopped functioning. “Watching you two got me hard and I had to hide it from you, Chan. I was hard when you laid on my lap, and I was worried you’d see.”

“Really?” Chan _has_ to be dicking around with him at this point, innocently looking down at Changbin’s crotch in the minimal space between them. Unmistakably, Changbin’s bulging through the denim from the attention. He exhales. “Fuck, Changbin.”

Changbin’s cheeks flush red and hot, embarrassed that he’s let himself get found out by spilling it so obscenely to Chan, and he wonders if he has any inkling of sanity left in him when he hears the words that leave his mouth, “Chan, will you kiss me?”

Their eyes meet, locking in place, and Changbin can almost see a fire roaring in Chan’s eyes. He sighs, smiling softly. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since your cute little ass walked into the room with Woojin,” Chan trails off, looking for the right words. “Can I kiss you?”

Changbin lets his eyes flutter shut as he breathes deeply, trying to calm his racing heart down. “Yes,” He opens his eyes and stares into Chan’s once more just to prove his sincerity, “Yes.”

The waves of familiarity finally come crashing down on Changbin, recalling the wet dream he’d had about this exact moment. Chan snatches his attention with a firm hand holding his chin and jaw up to look at him. He’s compelled to breathily spill his truths to the elder once more, “It’s weird that we’re in this position right now, because I had a dream just like this one the other night.”

His statement knocks the wind out of Chan’s lungs. “God, you’re so fucking cute,” He sighs, before he presses his lips against Changbin’s own.

The weight of Chan on him finally feels _real_ , the feeling of Chan sitting in his lap, the softness of his lips pushing up against his, and he’s hit with the upsetting realisation that he doesn’t know how to kiss Chan back, how to make him feel good. He moves his lips with Chan’s, replicating his advances as best he can, hoping he can convey even the slightest bit of arousal he feels towards the elder man, as much as he shouldn’t be enjoying this. Chan eases Changbin’s mouth open with his lips, the younger man pliant and willing to let Chan do as he pleases. Changbin lets Chan’s tongue lick coyly into his open, waiting mouth, working up the courage to let it fully explore the wet cavern of his mouth as to not scare him off. Changbin’s motions get sloppy, his tongue working its way into Chan’s mouths, sliding against each other with an obscene noise. Changbin’s overeagerness coupled with his inexperience renders him a drooling, wet mess, the sides of his mouth sticky with spit as much as Chan tries to keep the kiss under control.

They finally part, both panting and chests heaving. Chan admires his number on the younger man underneath him, mouth messy, his cheeks and the tips of his ears especially red. Content with his work, he smiles contentedly, before a sneaky hand teases at the button of Changbin jeans.

“Did you dream this up too, Changbin?” Chan’s voice is sweet, his hand sliding down to palm at Changbin’s bulge. He’s sturdy in his palm as Chan feels Changbin up, satisfied with the gasp that escapes the younger’s mouth when he lightly presses the heel of his palm into Changbin’s erection.

“Shit,” Changbin winces at the friction of denim and fabric and the pressure of Chan’s hand. “I was wearing more accessible clothing, but this is close enough,” He fumbles out, earning a hearty chuckle from Chan as he smoothly undoes the button and pulls down the zipper, pulling the fabric apart so he shove his hand down his pants.

Changbin’s eyes grow wide and his mouth drops at the feeling of Chan’s firm hand rubbing at his dick, their skin now merely separated by the thin cotton of his underwear. His fingers are slender and wrap around the outline of his cock, earning another groan from Changbin. “Feels good, Chan. Feels so good,” Changbin says slowly, his voice wavering as he lets the pleasure Chan gives him sink deep into his bones.

The elder is silent as he works Changbin’s cock through his underwear, eyebrows furrowed as he concentrates on getting him off. His shallow breaths quicken, and Chan moves his hand even at an even more relentless pace, the chafing of his arm against denim and fabric uncomfortable to listen to, but it serves to remind Changbin that Chan’s working so hard to get him off, and he can’t help but moan brokenly before he finally releases.

His balls tighten, his face scrunched up in pleasure as the suddenness of cum spurting from his cock jolts him slightly. The wetness takes a while to settle, and it’s when he registers the uncomfortable stickiness between his legs that he realises what he’s done. He’s let another man touch him. He enjoyed it. So much that he came in his underwear from him feeling him up. _Oh, no._

Chan’s hand reaches for Changbin’s face again, softly lifting it to presumably kiss him again, but Changbin pushes him off of his lap, staring with wide, terrified eyes at the offender. The look on Chan’s face is nothing but unadulterated hurt, his arm holding him up from suddenly being pushed onto the floor. Changbin doesn’t look away from the older man, his eyes only frantic as he zips and buttons up his jeans, his thoughts, just as frantic, racing through his head as he takes him in. _I enjoyed that. I let Chan touch me, and I came from it. What will Mom think? What would God think? I’m not gay, I_ can’t _be gay. Shit._ He takes one final look at Chan, unmoving from the floor. _Shit. I’m not gay._

_Shit. I need to leave._

Changbin flees before Chan can say anything to ease the tension, the click of the door closing accompanying the opening of Chan’s mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> yells.... sorry if the first chap was a little dry bc i'm not used to writing plot... more coming soon uwu,, leave me a comment with your thoughts maybe, i'd like to see where i can go with this heh
> 
> [nsfw twitter](https://twitter.com/topbinnie)


End file.
